Parent Alienation Comment/question

Larry writes:

You often site examples of Jon’s children. Who is Jon?, your husbamd or the guy you’re shacked up with? Is shacking up the reason that his ex is so difficult to get along with. Is it the reason that she trys to limit his activities with the children? Maybe if you all were legally married things would change. What is your relationship like with your children. Assuming you have children because of all the advice you offer about parenting.

Sonia says:  Larry….Jon is in fact my significant other.  In my opinion, and you are entitled to yours, whether Jon and I are married or not is of no consequence at this time.  Jon’s ex wife had made it her mission to alienate him from his kids long before I entered the picture.  I just happened to be the person who exposed it….and since then, my stepson has chosen to come to live with us.
 
I think that the point here that I would like to make is that it is important in these cases to look very hard at both sides unconditionally.  One parent should not be allowed to hammer the other.  Ever.  The issues between the biological parents should be kept seperate at all times. There should always be a priority system in place where the custodial parent initiates contact with the other parent, especially if distance is involved. 
 
 When I asked my stepson why he didn’t call his dad when he missed him, his response was that his dad was out of site, so he tried to put him out of mind.  He was just being a kid and going on with things.  It bothered him, but his mom told him that if his dad wanted to talk to him he would call or come there.  So that’s the way he looked at it.  It didn’t ever occur to him, as a child, that his dad was calling and trying to see him or that his mom was discouraging that communication.  And….not encouraging IS discouraging.
 
As far as whether I have kids or not…since I give my therapeutic opinions on parenting:  Knowledge does not have to be experienced to be understood.  I have never been sexually abused and I work with abuse victims.  I have never been a drug addict, but I am an addictive disorder specialist.  I am an adolescent specialist as well…..but I have been an adolescent, so I guess I am safe there.  And…I have experienced parent alienation….so seems I am safe there too.  I tend to write the most about things that I have experienced.  So I guess we are both right, huh?
Thank you for your comment…

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