Mean teen….

Margaret writes: Hey Sonia ~ what would cause a teen to start calling me names when she is angry ? I would never even dream of this as a child!!! My child is so disrespectful and her mouth has gotten bad!I have even called the jail to see if they have a scared staright program and they will let her visit and spend time there for a SAT. She is almost 16 and yes she has been spoiled and the only child. I am divorced 9 yrs and her dad is now gay. Do you think I should get her counseling or anger management? I need help. She is also very worried about her weight all the time and is snapping pics to see how she looks in outfits after she tries them on to see how she looks and will change if she doesnt like the pic.
Thanks Margaret

Sonia says: Find her a therapist pronto and preferably a group too.  I always have both available. Not only does she have to deal with her parents divorcing, but she has to deal with her father changing sexual preferences.  That’s tough for a kid and trauma shows up in many different ways.  Sometimes it’s anger, and sometimes it’s more depressive, or isolative or compulsive.  It just depends on the person. 

Also,you are probably the custodial parent, which makes you the primary parent and sometimes that means you are the most unconditional parent.  Your daughter may feel abandoned due to the divorce and the “loss” of her dad as she knew her dad….and so she could be “testing” you to see if you are going to leave too.

Yelling at you though, is not ok and neither is calling you names , obviously…so she needs to work on her approach to you and maybe you to her.  You can find a therapist by lookng up “professional counseling association” online.  For Georgia it’s LPCA (Licensed Professional  Counselors of Georgia).  There should be a list with therapist’s specialties and stuff.  Make the call!  It changes everything.

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